White coat. Heels.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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