This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
