he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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