Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
