i permit you to call me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just had sex on a roof
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
