I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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