So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
