I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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