She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
