Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
