I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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