are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
