I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
