What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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