Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
