Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
