New invention idea: vibrating tampons
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Are we still banned from the library?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
