can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Too much gin, very little bucket
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
