Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
