I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I AM VODKA MAN
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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