Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So much Jack, so little girl.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
