i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Your penis caused this!
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