were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
