Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
