porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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