Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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