im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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