Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
