"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
