the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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