god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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