Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
