called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
