y did u give ur computer a hand job?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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