Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
