she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
