Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
