Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I currently don't understand fingers.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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