you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Randomize
