He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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