If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
