Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
