I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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