Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
