i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he puts the penis in happiness.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
