my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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