Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'

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  (973): my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!' http://tfl.nu/vh00
  Replies (27) Good night (1081) Bad night (3343)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.

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  (613): no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/h5lf
  Replies (12) Good night (645) Bad night (3377)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"

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  (901): I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?" http://tfl.nu/efd9
  Replies (24) Good night (6090) Bad night (1167)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.

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  (205): we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with. http://tfl.nu/n5zf
  Replies (6) Good night (900) Bad night (3659)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.

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  (847): yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her. http://tfl.nu/lht2
  Replies (14) Good night (4090) Bad night (1276)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you

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  (740): Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you http://tfl.nu/m5id
  Replies (2) Good night (2179) Bad night (962)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.

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  (401): Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world. http://tfl.nu/8eb4
  Replies (8) Good night (2884) Bad night (651)
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  (760): View more from California

  I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.

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  (760): I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait. http://tfl.nu/31q4
  Replies (6) Good night (1442) Bad night (747)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.

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  (713): The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross. http://tfl.nu/mx32
  Replies (3) Good night (769) Bad night (571)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Tiny.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.

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  (402): Tiny. (402): I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed. http://tfl.nu/6vga
  Replies (8) Good night (1612) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.

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  (413): I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS. http://tfl.nu/290q
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (914)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.

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  (573): I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs. http://tfl.nu/ty2k
  Replies (8) Good night (759) Bad night (395)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD

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  (604): All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD http://tfl.nu/xdt2
  Replies (5) Good night (617) Bad night (376)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months

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  (703): just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months http://tfl.nu/j2ye
  Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.

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  (210): Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/yw42
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (197)

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