Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.