Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
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