Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.