oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house