So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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