I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
