man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
