He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
