worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
