The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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