we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
