I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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