my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
