i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize