Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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