break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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