I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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