So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize